It can often feel like our time, money and energy are being pulled in every direction leaving us tired or overwhelmed, and in the hubbub we sometimes end up neglecting ourselves which may lead us to low moods, low self-esteem, difficulties in our relationships, or other challenges. There is so much information at our fingertips nowadays that when we do remember to take care of ourselves we can become flooded and often end up retreating rather than taking steps towards self-care. My hope is that this blog will be one space in which you can find many of the answers you’re looking for to help you to take that next step. I know for some taking the first step can be scary but remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and everyone deserves to be heard and supported.

So, what is counselling?
I thought a great place to start would be to share a bit about what counselling is. At its core, counselling is about connection. It’s a place where you can feel heard, understood and your feelings validated. It’s an opportunity for you to make sense of your own story, untangle any knots and develop the resilience to make changes. Usually, you would attend a regularly scheduled 50-minute session either face-to-face or online, in which a qualified professional offers a private and safe space for you to share your concerns, identify your goals and explore your experiences, relationships and feelings. For some this might sound daunting, but you are not expected to share anything or everything until you feel ready to; the counsellor will follow your lead and focus on the things that matter to you. All sessions will abide by counselling ethics to ensure the process is beneficial and confidential, and your counsellor will remain impartial, listening attentively and supportive throughout. The overall aim of counselling is to help you to see your own strengths and resources so you can improve your emotional well-being and overall quality of life.
Counselling misconceptions
It’s important that you know what to expect before attending as there are many representations of counselling in TV shows and films that aren’t always accurate, and understandably people can become disappointed if we do not meet their expectations. So, let’s dive in:
– It’s not true that counsellors have all the answers or that they will tell you what to do.
– Counselling is not a place for judgement, criticism or advice.
– Counsellors do not have a quick or magical fix for you; it’s a process that takes time and involves self-reflection to experience personal growth.
– It’s not ‘just talking’; while friends and family may provide support, a counsellor brings expertise and tools to help you navigate challenges more effectively.
– It’s not about blaming or digging up your past for the sake of it but acknowledging that it (whatever it is) happened and learning how to accept and live with it or move through it.

What happens in counselling?
Now that we have a clearer understanding of what counselling is, let’s look at what happens in the sessions. Let’s assume for now that you’ve found a counsellor, booked an appointment and have arrived at your first session, what next? Your counsellor will commonly begin with introductions and contracting (sharing how they work and finding out both what brings you here and what you hope to get out of it, in addition to taking down your personal details (name, address, contact number, GP info) if they haven’t already). Although you are welcome to ask questions at any point, this initial session is a great opportunity to do so!
There are different forms of counselling like person-centred, cognitive behavioural therapy, transactional analysis, gestalt and more, but there are also (like I am) integrative counsellors who are trained in, and therefore pull from, multiple forms, tailoring the practice to suit your individual needs and preferences. You should be able to find out which model your chosen counsellor offers on their directory listing, website, or business social media. I won’t go into all the approaches here as that would take some time, but check out my blogs on Person-Centred Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy I’ll be putting together blogs on some other approaches too so, keep an eye out! You can also read a little more about the different approaches that I use here.
I understand that there may be times when you don’t know what to say or where to start but your counsellor will help you figure this out using professional curiosity and gentle guidance.
Why counselling?
Counselling can be extremely helpful when navigating the complexities of life, offering a safe space to explore thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It supports individuals facing a wide range of challenges, from anxiety and relationship issues to stress and bereavement. Importantly, counselling isn’t just for those in crisis; many also seek it out for personal growth, to enhance their self-esteem, or to improve their communication skills. Through guided sessions, individuals can gain clarity on their goals, learn effective coping strategies, and develop healthier relationships with themselves and others, empowering them to lead more fulfilling lives.
You may hear different stories about or views on counselling from the people around you, keep in mind that everyone experiences it differently for a number of reasons:
– The counsellor they choose (a good relationship is key).
– The counselling approach (some are better suited to certain people/issues than others).
– Their own openness (you’ve probably heard it before but you will get out of counselling what you put into it, to reap the benefits you need to do the work).
– Consistency (regular attendance).
How to get the most out of it
As I mentioned earlier, the counsellor-client relationship is important in having a positive counselling experience. I always say it’s like buying a car, you wouldn’t purchase the first one you see, instead you would shop around, check out their features and maybe even go for a test drive. Well, why should finding a counsellor be any different? After all, it’s your trust and mental health you’re putting in their hands. Get a feel for the counsellor with a free consultation, or attend an initial session with no obligation to return.
To reiterate what I said earlier, try to be open and honest in sessions and keep an open mind for new ideas and perspectives as you may learn or hear something you might not have thought of before. Though it’s not a requirement, some people find it helpful to come prepared by writing down thoughts and feelings they’re experiencing as a way to help them express themselves more clearly in session. Additionally, having clear goals can help guide the sessions and make them more productive. Most importantly, use what you learn in session outside of the sessions.
Still have questions? Feel free to check out my services or FAQs, alternatively you’re welcome to email me and I will do my very best to provide the answers.
You deserve the opportunity to find clarity, cope with challenges, and explore your potential. Embrace the journey with an open heart and mind—you may be surprised by the positive changes that await!

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